Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Battling guilt

I have struggled with guilt for as long as I can remember.

At about 2:30 this morning, I awakened, feeling thankful about something. It was a nice feeling. I adjusted my position in bed, prepared to go back to sleep, but then the not-so-warm-and-fuzzy thoughts started to hit me. For some reason, I started to review things from the previous day that I wished I could do differently. “I said too much about that,” I chastised myself. “I should have done that better!” I insisted. I quickly entered a futile cycle of scolding myself and then trying to shake the negative thoughts.

I wish the battle was easy. We know from 2 Corinthians 10:5 that we are to take every thought captive. As someone who is generally more mentally than emotionally driven, it seems like I should be able to do just that, but sometimes it’s easier said than done.

Fortunately, and by God’s grace, I have made some progress. Here are some tips for when you are battling guilt:

1)                  Read the Bible and pray. When we were little, a good friend of mine used that answer for almost every question posed during Sunday School. He was joking, but his answer was surprisingly profound (and easy to remember). Communicating with the God of the universe through prayer and His Word meets a lot of needs! Even more specifically, memorized Scripture helps me a great deal when I am battling negative thoughts. Not only 2 Corinthians 10:5 (mentioned above), but other verses that specifically address the area where I feel guilty. Last night I actually got out of bed and read my Bible for a while. I mentally and emotionally grabbed one verse (Psalm 123:1) to cling to and meditate on as I tried to go back to sleep.

2)                  Discern whether you have truly sinned. This was probably my biggest revelation regarding the battle with guilt. (It came through a Bible study I completed several years ago: http://smile.amazon.com/Institute-Biblical-Counseling-Discussion-Guides/dp/0891096922/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1410885656&sr=8-1&keywords=0891096922.) Ask yourself, “Was that actually a sin?” If so, confess and renounce it (to God and whomever else was involved), and then move on. If it wasn’t a sin, then learn what you can from the incident and don’t lose any more sleep over it. Sometimes we do things that might embarrass us, but that’s not sin, so we are still right with God and the world.

3)                  Humble yourself. The verse that helped me this morning (Psalm 123:1) says: “I lift my eyes to you, O God, enthroned in heaven.” As I prayed and meditated on this verse, I was reminded of another good truth I learned years ago: Insecurity is another form of pride. Why do I relive moments I wish I could have done differently? Because I’m embarrassed. Why am I embarrassed? I could say insecurity, which doesn’t sound very offensive, and certainly seems empathetic. However, insecurity it still all about us. Insecurity says, “I don’t believe what God has told me about myself. I want something better. What He’s offered is not enough.” That’s pride. I needed to humble myself before the great God, who sits on the throne. He is enough. What He thinks about me is enough.

For more on the topic of guilt, consider my favorite guilt verse: “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death” (2 Corinthians 7:10).

God wants us to address our guilt with godly sorrow. What should this godly sorrow lead to?

After we repent, how should we feel?

Do the world and the enemy want us to receive forgiveness so easily?

If we choose to handle guilt the way the world wants, where does that path lead?

I choose the godly way. I choose no regret.


Though sometimes, like last night, it might take a little while to achieve that. J

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